This might very well be my first sad-ish post. I'm not particularly sad, or homesick, just haven't had the best of days, which I really had thought was impossible living in this city! It wasn't the best of mornings as I kept waking up practically every hour of the hour with that stupid worrying about the future crap- worrying about this incredibly busy week of class, and how I have to somehow find an apartment in the midst of all the teaching and schooling. Not entirely a huge deal since I'm starting my search early, but apparently my brain decided to have quite a few nightcaps and stay up musing all night, not fun. And there was no hot water, super bien!
I also went to go check out 2 apartments- I dragged my friend Sari with me to the first one which was in a boring area and the guy seemed sketchy on the phone, plus the place was way out of my price range- went with my instincts and said "no gracias" and then went to see another apartment which seemed incredibly promising but after a stroll through the neighborhood, I realized I was one of maybe only 5 other women I'd seen and I didn't like the way it felt, so I also bailed on that one. Too bad! Thus, the search continues, but I have 2 appointments set up for Wed and Thurs so hopefully something comes up.
It's funny, I'm guessing people assume I'm super happy all the time, that things are so easy here and all that, but it's really challenging in so many ways. Not just the whole stupid struggle with me thinking I speak English wayyyy too much and not enough spanish, but just not understanding how to do things here, like this whole apartment search, or finding a place to buy rye bread! I'm reminded though, when I have these bad days, of how much it took me to get here, and how I worked so fricking hard to make things fall into place so I could be here, knowing that it wasn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows all the time (except for the pattern on my socks). I've just had a frustrating day, but tomorrow will definitely be better.
I miss people. I miss fam, friends, cats, clothes dryers. but I did manage to find peanut butter so that's a bit of home right there!
buenas noches
I miss you, too, boo. But keep your chin up! You're doing amazing things. You're alive!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, that Black Madonna thing you wrote about previous is AMAZING. I wish I could have seen that with you.